THE PSYCHE OF 4X4 DRIVERS (toda coincidencia es solo casualidad..)

MoroMoro · 11-01-2014, 22:33:16

THE PSYCHE OF 4X4 DRIVERS

ARE YOU ASHAMED OF WHAT YOU DRIVE?

Be honest, why do you drive a 4x4? The image? Maybe the image is not what you think it is. Read on.

The Land Rover Defender driver comes in two styles. The first is he who loads up with safari gear and heads off into the wild blue yonder (the type we all hope to be one day) confident that he has the best 4x4xfar. He does it on high-days and holidays and would never be caught with his jerry cans down (off the roof-rack). He is the man who, unless he has had his morning fix of hypoid gear oil wafting past his nostrils and water dripping on his feet, is discontented and unproductive. The second is an image man. Unless he gets that safari feeling as he fights his way through the morning traffic, he is not nice to be with.

The Discovery is Britain's most significant contribution to good posture. Even if the driver is four-foot six, he is tall when behind the wheel of a Disco. No opportunity is lost as this superlative 4x4 cruises around the most expensive malls, for drivers and passengers alike like to peer down on mere mortals, with their well trained stiff upper lips protruding. (Posture instruction is in the driver's manual you get with a Disco)

The Mazda driver, is one who has one foot in and one foot out - not sure if he wants to be a 4x4 man or not. He loves his vehicle, but don't you dare compare it to anything else. He is one who, when selecting his mount, wanted a Hilux, but wasn't sure that he wanted to have kidney transplants more than absolutely necessary.

The Ford pick-up driver is a badge-engineered Mazda driver.

The Pajero owner sees himself as the master of the universe. The real master of the universe wonders if He should admit to having created him in the first place. He is an obsessive compulsive and if given the choice of one or two articles to take onto a desert island, a leggy blond or his car, he would, without hesitation, select his beloved Pajero. The Pajero in the 4x4 world is the equivalent of the Red Ferrari in a man's world.

The Gelandewagen driver is cool, calm and collected and often German. If he is not German, he gets a hint of what it's like to actually be a German - driving an armored car in the desert. He is usually ignorant of the fact that he is driving such a superb off-roader and is also one of the most frustrated drivers around, because his car is so slow that he must leave two days ahead to get there with the others.

The Hilux driver reigns supreme - or at least he thinks he does. If he drives an older Hilux with cart springs he is terrified that one day he will meet his match - somebody driving a new Hilux who will show him how a Hilux really performs. If he drives a new Hilux, with independent front suspension, he is terrified that one day he will meet his match - somebody driving an old Hilux who will show him how a Hilux really performs. The Hilux driver is very proud that he is tough enough to take the rough with the smooth (smooth!?) in order that he may have piece of mind that his truck will go on forever. He is less proud however, and never lets on, about the kidney belt in the cubbyhole and silent wish for a Defender that is half as reliable.

The SsangYong driver is a bit of a loner. The bank loaned him the money to buy it and he is now all-alone, because nobody wants to travel with him in case he breaks down. He, and the entire world, is not sure of the correct pronunciation of the Korean word, and the only word in all the languages of the earth, to start with a double-S. He spends much of his time hoping that nobody will notice that his car is made by the same people who have produced the ugliest moving object on the planet - the Korando. He wishes he could have bought a Prado.

The really old Land Rover driver has either never driven a coil spring Land Rover or is a fanatic who likes spending his weekends on his back being rained on by oil and dirt. Or, he is really poor.

The Mercedes M-Class driver wants a 4x4 with the ultimate accessory - a right-of-way as standard original equipment. What worries me about this and that BMW are now bringing out a 4x4. What are drivers of that going to be like? I have sleepless nights about it!

The Prado driver is a bit self-absorbed. He is a man in love with his new lifestyle and not perturbed about telling everyone either. He's confident his vehicle will cope and every time he takes it off-road he apologizes to it for his inadequacy. If he drives a diesel he regrets not buying a petrol when trying to overtake with his B'rakhah behind him but is very pleased when the petrol levy is announced in the budget.

The Range Rover owner is a woman. He wouldn't dare get mud on it (tell me, have you ever seen a dirty Range Rover?) and doesn't have a clue how to adjust the suspension for off-road travel anyway. Besides, it can climb pavements on the normal road setting.

The Cruiser VX driver is a deaf mute. He is spellbound by his vehicle and never opens the window to talk or throw signs to anyone. He loses his way around the dashboard because every time he climbs in, the electric seat is in a different position. Smitten by his cocksure atititude, he drives past Range Rovers trying not to notice how much better they look.

The Nissan Patrol owner was a magpie in his former life. Some of it rubbed off and he now likes chrome so much that he chose the one and only 4x4 that could satisfy his lust for shiny objects. New Patrol owners really wanted a Cruiser but couldn't quite afford it so they went for the next biggest thing.

Nissan Sani drivers are disappointed people. Most have had long-standing love affairs with their vehicles but don't like the new one. They lie awake at night crying themselves to sleep with the words, "I want a new old Sani, not a new, new Sani, boo, hoo" All 4x4 owners have one secret wish - that one day a shiny BMW tailgating them will misjudge a stop and slam into their tow bar, converting the kidney grille into a unrecognizable mess.

11-01-2014, 22:33:16	#1
MoroMoro Junior Member Newbie Fecha de Ingreso: Jan 2013 Mensajes: 85	THE PSYCHE OF 4X4 DRIVERS (toda coincidencia es solo casualidad..) THE PSYCHE OF 4X4 DRIVERS ARE YOU ASHAMED OF WHAT YOU DRIVE? Be honest, why do you drive a 4x4? The image? Maybe the image is not what you think it is. Read on. The Land Rover Defender driver comes in two styles. The first is he who loads up with safari gear and heads off into the wild blue yonder (the type we all hope to be one day) confident that he has the best 4x4xfar. He does it on high-days and holidays and would never be caught with his jerry cans down (off the roof-rack). He is the man who, unless he has had his morning fix of hypoid gear oil wafting past his nostrils and water dripping on his feet, is discontented and unproductive. The second is an image man. Unless he gets that safari feeling as he fights his way through the morning traffic, he is not nice to be with. The Discovery is Britain's most significant contribution to good posture. Even if the driver is four-foot six, he is tall when behind the wheel of a Disco. No opportunity is lost as this superlative 4x4 cruises around the most expensive malls, for drivers and passengers alike like to peer down on mere mortals, with their well trained stiff upper lips protruding. (Posture instruction is in the driver's manual you get with a Disco) The Mazda driver, is one who has one foot in and one foot out - not sure if he wants to be a 4x4 man or not. He loves his vehicle, but don't you dare compare it to anything else. He is one who, when selecting his mount, wanted a Hilux, but wasn't sure that he wanted to have kidney transplants more than absolutely necessary. The Ford pick-up driver is a badge-engineered Mazda driver. The Pajero owner sees himself as the master of the universe. The real master of the universe wonders if He should admit to having created him in the first place. He is an obsessive compulsive and if given the choice of one or two articles to take onto a desert island, a leggy blond or his car, he would, without hesitation, select his beloved Pajero. The Pajero in the 4x4 world is the equivalent of the Red Ferrari in a man's world. The Gelandewagen driver is cool, calm and collected and often German. If he is not German, he gets a hint of what it's like to actually be a German - driving an armored car in the desert. He is usually ignorant of the fact that he is driving such a superb off-roader and is also one of the most frustrated drivers around, because his car is so slow that he must leave two days ahead to get there with the others. The Hilux driver reigns supreme - or at least he thinks he does. If he drives an older Hilux with cart springs he is terrified that one day he will meet his match - somebody driving a new Hilux who will show him how a Hilux really performs. If he drives a new Hilux, with independent front suspension, he is terrified that one day he will meet his match - somebody driving an old Hilux who will show him how a Hilux really performs. The Hilux driver is very proud that he is tough enough to take the rough with the smooth (smooth!?) in order that he may have piece of mind that his truck will go on forever. He is less proud however, and never lets on, about the kidney belt in the cubbyhole and silent wish for a Defender that is half as reliable. The SsangYong driver is a bit of a loner. The bank loaned him the money to buy it and he is now all-alone, because nobody wants to travel with him in case he breaks down. He, and the entire world, is not sure of the correct pronunciation of the Korean word, and the only word in all the languages of the earth, to start with a double-S. He spends much of his time hoping that nobody will notice that his car is made by the same people who have produced the ugliest moving object on the planet - the Korando. He wishes he could have bought a Prado. The really old Land Rover driver has either never driven a coil spring Land Rover or is a fanatic who likes spending his weekends on his back being rained on by oil and dirt. Or, he is really poor. The Mercedes M-Class driver wants a 4x4 with the ultimate accessory - a right-of-way as standard original equipment. What worries me about this and that BMW are now bringing out a 4x4. What are drivers of that going to be like? I have sleepless nights about it! The Prado driver is a bit self-absorbed. He is a man in love with his new lifestyle and not perturbed about telling everyone either. He's confident his vehicle will cope and every time he takes it off-road he apologizes to it for his inadequacy. If he drives a diesel he regrets not buying a petrol when trying to overtake with his B'rakhah behind him but is very pleased when the petrol levy is announced in the budget. The Range Rover owner is a woman. He wouldn't dare get mud on it (tell me, have you ever seen a dirty Range Rover?) and doesn't have a clue how to adjust the suspension for off-road travel anyway. Besides, it can climb pavements on the normal road setting. The Cruiser VX driver is a deaf mute. He is spellbound by his vehicle and never opens the window to talk or throw signs to anyone. He loses his way around the dashboard because every time he climbs in, the electric seat is in a different position. Smitten by his cocksure atititude, he drives past Range Rovers trying not to notice how much better they look. The Nissan Patrol owner was a magpie in his former life. Some of it rubbed off and he now likes chrome so much that he chose the one and only 4x4 that could satisfy his lust for shiny objects. New Patrol owners really wanted a Cruiser but couldn't quite afford it so they went for the next biggest thing. Nissan Sani drivers are disappointed people. Most have had long-standing love affairs with their vehicles but don't like the new one. They lie awake at night crying themselves to sleep with the words, "I want a new old Sani, not a new, new Sani, boo, hoo" All 4x4 owners have one secret wish - that one day a shiny BMW tailgating them will misjudge a stop and slam into their tow bar, converting the kidney grille into a unrecognizable mess.